An ode to anyone who has lost someone they loved.
The hardest part about mourning the loss of a loved one is the uncertainty that accompanies it. The uncertainty of where they are, what they are feeling/experiencing, and the uncertainty of if you will ever see them again. It’s not necessarily the fact that they’re gone, because eventually time helps you come to terms with that sad fact. Instead, it’s the idea that they are gone forever, the idea that there will never be a love-filled reunion in lives to come. It’s the sadness in the fact that you feel as though they will never experience your life with you. It’s the uncertainty of what comes after death. It’s hard to imagine where their final resting place is, where they will spend the rest of eternity.
I think for me, that is what is so hard about accepting the loss of my dad and grandpa. It’s not that they’re physically gone, but instead the idea that their essence is gone. That I will never feel the comforting, loving aura they emitted in life. But that all changed a few days ago. I was visiting their grave sites, and I was more distraught than I had been in a long time, telling them everything that had occurred in the past weeks. As I finished my story, this overwhelming peace filled me. I looked up, over the walls that encircle them, and watched as the pink and red hues filled the sky as the sun began to set. I felt the wind brush my cheeks, instantly drying the tears and caressed my hair just as a loved one might. I felt the warmth in the final rays of the sun, bringing a glowing feeling to the center of my being. That is when I realized something of great importance: our loved ones don’t have one final resting place. We may bury their physical remnants in a crypt or grave, but their essence, their love, is all around us. As I experienced, they are the wind that dries your tears and helps you see clarity. They are the sun, providing a feeling of warmth and a glow of optimism in our lives. They are the birds that take flight, watching from above as you journey down the road of life. They are in all of our surroundings, even when it doesn’t seem like it.
It took me a long time to realize this for myself, and maybe this is something that varies by person. But ever since that experience, I have noticed myself at ease. I find comfort in my surroundings because I know that my dad and grandpa, the essence of who they were as human beings, will never be gone from my life. It’s ingrained in the world, in my mind, in my soul, and most importantly, in my heart. So bear with me for the rest of this entry, I was feeling inspired and wrote my first poem in a very, very, very long time.
Their final resting place
Is not in a grave, nor in a vase.
They aren’t stuck in one spot,
Nor confined to the area of our thoughts.
They are neither here nor there,
Instead, they reside everywhere.
They’re the wind in your hair,
Just rushing through to say they still care.
They’re the warmth in the rays from the sun,
Proving that the darkness of the world hasn’t won.
They’re the birds flying high through the sky,
Free to travel and keep a watchful eye.
No, the ones we love never leave us behind
All we have to do is look to find
Their essence surrounds us from the inside,
It flows as smooth as a tide
From their souls to our life,
Filling us with peace and replacing our strife.
Grade A cheesy poem, but the idea still rings true to me.